By Dan Howarth

With all thanks and praise to God, I was ordained to the diaconate on 18 June in the Basilica of St Paul Outside the Wall, in Rome.

Whilst we are told, rightly so, that formation is lifelong, this occasion brought an end to my three years at the Pontifical College of St Bede (The Beda), and my formal completion of a bachelor's degree in theology. I still have another year in Rome as I head towards my priestly ordination. But 18 June gave me some time afterwards to reflect on my journey and everything that happened.

Archbishop Emeritus Malcolm accepted me for formation, and I had met him a few times prior, namely in Lourdes, so the fact that he was to preside at the ordination was a true honour and joy for me. Through my formation, I have felt his fatherly presence, support, and encouragement, and it wasn’t lost on me, seeing a slight smile as I presented myself to him at the sanctuary.

Nine others were ordained that day, and all went smoothly. I was incredibly lucky to have many faces from different personal worlds present to support me. From old and new friends, friends from London and Bath, former colleagues, and my mother and niece (no doubt my Dad also had a good view from the skies). As the opening procession turned to head up the aisle, there was also a sea of faces from the Liverpool Hospitalitae and Healthcare team, whom I have worked alongside on our yearly pilgrimage to Lourdes. Their waving and silent cheers assured me that, despite being in blistering Roman heat, I was on that day indeed, home.

All ordinands got to choose two saints to be included in the litany of saints. This is sung by all as I lay prostrate before the alter, a sign of humility and service before the Lord. This practice dates back to early Jewish ordinations. The first saint I chose was St Teresa of Calcutta, Mother Teresa. I have always been hooked on the corporal works of Mercy, something which she promoted in her ministry. Mother Teresa inspired me to nurse in various charitable roles in low-income countries.  The poor, the lonely, and the outcast have always been deep in my heart and ministry, and as I start my diaconal service, I thought her intercession would be vital.

The second was a ‘local lad’, Blessed James Bell. One of the English Martyrs from Warrington (I, too, am from Warrington). The parish I live in is the parish of Blessed James Bell, and that of Fr Canon Dave Heywood and Deacon Tony Kerrigan (both also attended the service), who have shown unwavering support to me during formation, and like many of our Liverpool clergy, I would have been lost without them. The parishioners welcomed me and actively sought to get to know me; they have been so kind that, with the intercession of a former priest of Warrington and the connection to the people of that parish, I was moved to hear his name.

Speaking with the others ordained that day, talk got to 'which bit felt the most emotional?’. Nerves probably blocked a lot of feelings that day, but the moment which I recall being most significant and caused me to shed a tear was receiving the book of the Gospels. I think this was in part due to the service of the deacon. I could now proclaim the Gospel, the words from the Word. It's rather a considerable new task. There is also something beautiful about Archbishop Malcolm passing the book of the Gospel on to me, in light of his retirement. The very many times that he has proclaimed the Gospel in Liverpool and beyond, and somehow, with God's help, he is asking me to do the same thing.

The day concluded with a buffet lunch and drinks event in the gardens of the Beda – the college is located across the road from the basilica.  This would also be the final lunch in the college, which I would share with the rector, Canon Phillip Gillespie. He too has been a father figure to me in the past three years. And getting to this stage in my formation would have been a lot trickier had it not been for him, his love and his guidance.

My summer will be one of putting this new service into practice. A four-week placement in Kirkby at St Joseph and St Laurence parish, and again as a nurse on the Archdiocese Pilgrimage to Lourdes with the Healthcare team. Lourdes was the place where I felt called to become a Catholic when I was 15 years old, and Our Lady has always seen me through some rocky patches, not just in these past three years but beyond. It will be my delight to go and thank her in the town where she called me to her son, in person.

As I grow as a deacon and, with God's grace a priest, be assured of my prayers across the archdiocese. Jesus the Good Shepherd, his mother Our Lady, the Holy Scriptures, and prayer have strengthened me in times of doubt or worry, and still, I would be appreciative if you could also pray for me and my newly ordained deacon brothers from the Beda.

With many blessings and in peace and love.